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How to talk to your teen about difficult topics, according to an expert

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From social media to mental health, parents have many worries when it comes to their teenagers — but often struggle when it comes to starting a conversation. 

In a recent survey, Gallup and the Walton Family Foundation found some of parents’ top concerns include their kids future, experiences at school and online, physical safety and mental health.

“This was really interesting in the finding — they worry about this, but they also find those to be extremely hard conversations to have with their kids. So parents are holding both of those things at once,” psychologist Lisa Damour, who also helped with the research, said Wednesday on “CBS Mornings.”

The good news? There are ways to have successful conversations about these things. Damour shared a few tips to help parents get started: 

Let the child lead: “Wait for the kid to bring it up,” she said. “Teenagers talk about these things in front of us, often about their friends, so if a teenager talks about a friend’s mental health concern, a parent should take it seriously, be interested, and then say, if you had a concern like that, would you feel you could talk about it with me, right? So the door is open, you walk through it. 

Avoid sneak attacks: “Teenagers do not do well with sneak attack conversations,” she said. “Instead, consider saying, ‘I’m thinking about the upcoming school year. I’ve got some ideas. Can you talk now? Can you talk in the next couple days?’ Give them a little runway.”

Don’t be put off by eye rolling: “Teenagers roll their eyes. It is sometimes how they establish their independence. So if you’re saying to a kid on the way out to a party like ‘no drinking,’ and the kid rolls their eyes, take that as ‘I heard you.'”

Keep it short: “Teenagers can’t tolerate long conversations about charged topics. I think you’ve got 45 seconds to a minute sometimes,” she said, adding these talks are not “one and done.” “These are conversations you’re in and out of all through development, how kids think about it changes. What they’re into changes. So you just want to be touching base over time.”

Turns out teens want to talk these topics too, according to the survey. Among the kids surveyed, 92% said talking about mental health is helpful and 83% said the same about social media.

With social media, however, there’s oftentimes a disconnect between teens and parents.

“These are some of the hardest conversations to have with teenagers, and it’s because they know adults don’t understand social media and often don’t like it. So I think as soon as the adult says the word social media, teenagers are thinking, ‘How do I get out of this conversation with my phone as fast as possible?’ So it shuts down right before it starts,” Damour said.

To prevent that, she suggests coming with curiosity. 

“Consider saying something like, ‘Talk to me about social media. Tell me what you like, and then tell me what you don’t like, and then tell me what have you tried to minimize the downsides of what you don’t like? And how can I help?'”

Damour also says to consider what teens want from parents in these conversations. 

According to the survey, it’s not advice — which ranked low on the list. Instead, teens want to be heard and taken seriously.



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LaMonica McIver wins special House election in New Jersey for late Donald Payne Jr.’s seat

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LaMonica McIver wins special House Democratic primary in N.J.


LaMonica McIver wins special House Democratic primary in N.J.

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TRENTON, N.J. Democratic Newark City Council President LaMonica McIver has defeated Republican small businessman Carmen Bucco in a contest in New Jersey’s 10th Congressional District that opened up because of the death of Rep. Donald Payne Jr. in April.

McIver will serve out the remainder of Payne’s term, which ends in January. She and Bucco will face a rematch on the November ballot for the full term.

McIver said in a statement Wednesday that she stands on the “shoulders of giants,” naming Payne as chief among them.

She cast ahead to the November election, saying the right to make reproductive health choices was on the ballot as well as whether the economy should benefit the wealthy or “hard working Americans.”

“I will fight because the purpose of politics and the purpose of our vote is to give the people of our communities and our nation a bold voice,” she said.

Bucco congratulated McIver on the victory in a statement but said he’s looking forward to the rematch in November.

“I am not going anywhere,” he said in an email. “We still have a second chance to make district 10 great again!”

Who are LaMonica McIver and Carmen Bucco?

McIver emerged as the Democratic candidate in a crowded field in the July special election. A member of the city council of New Jersey’s biggest city since 2018, she also worked for Montclair Public Schools as a personnel director and plans to focus on affordability, infrastructure, abortion rights and “protecting our democracy,” she told The Associated Press earlier this summer.

Bucco describes himself on his campaign website as a small-business owner influenced by his upbringing in the foster system. He lists support for law enforcement and ending corruption as top issues.

The 10th District lies in a heavily Democratic and majority-Black region of northern New Jersey. Republicans are outnumbered by more than 6 to 1.

It’s been a volatile year for Democrats in New Jersey, where the party dominates state government and the congressional delegation.

Among the developments were the conviction on federal bribery charges of U.S. Sen. Bob Menendez, who has denied the charges, and the demise of the so-called county party line — a system in which local political leaders give their preferred candidates favorable position on the primary ballot.

Democratic Rep. Andy Kim, who’s running for Menendez’s seat, and other Democrats brought a federal lawsuit challenging the practice as part of his campaign to oust Menendez, who has resigned since his conviction.



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Body found near Kentucky shooting site believed to be suspect, officials say

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Body found near Kentucky shooting site believed to be suspect, officials say – CBS News


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In a news conference Thursday night, Kentucky police said they believe a body found near the site of the Interstate 75 shooting on Sept. 7, 2024, is that of suspect Joseph Couch. Officials said articles on the body indicated it was likely Couch, but that crews were still processing the scene and wouldn’t have final identification until later. CBS News’ Carissa Lawson anchors a special report.

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Sean “Diddy” Combs at same Brooklyn detention center that held R. Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, other high-profile inmates

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A second judge refused to grant bail to Sean “Diddy” Combs on Wednesday and he could remain in federal custody at a Brooklyn detention center until his trial for sex trafficking charges. Combs joins other high-profile inmates, such as singer R. Kelly, fallen cryptocurrency mogul Sam Bankman-Fried, rapper Ja Rule —even Al Sharpton served a brief stint— who were held at the same federal detention center.

Notorious for its horrible conditions —inmates won a $10 million class action settlement after enduring frigid conditions during an 8-day blackout in 2019— the waterfront industrial complex, MDC Brooklyn, houses 1,200 inmates. 

US-BRITAIN-CRIME-JUSTICE-EPSTEIN-MAXWELL
The Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn is a federal administrative detention facility. 

JOHANNES EISELE/AFP via Getty Images


Violence and corruption have long plagued the facility; U.S. District Judge Gary R. Brown of the Eastern District of New York wrote the detention center had  “dangerous, barbaric conditions” in a recent sentencing opinion. Two inmates were stabbed to death in recent months and several correction officers have been convicted for smuggling contraband and accepting bribes.

Combs joins a list of high-profile personalities that have landed at the MDC Brooklyn, partly because the city’s other federal detention center, MDC New York, closed in 2021, also due to horrible conditions. The disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein died by suicide in his cell there in 2019. “Numerous and serious” instances of misconduct among corrections staff gave Epstein the opportunity to kill himself, a subsequent federal watchdog investigation found.

Kelly sued the federal detention center in 2022 for wrongly putting him on suicide watch after his sentencing. Kelly sought $100 million because he said the detention center knew he wasn’t suicidal after he was convicted in 2021 for racketeering and violating the Mann Act, which bars transporting people across state lines for prostitution.

FTX Founder Sam Bankman-Fried Attends Court
Sam Bankman-Fried, co-founder of FTX Cryptocurrency Derivatives Exchange, leaving court in New York on July 26, 2023. 

Yuki Iwamura/Bloomberg via Getty Images


Former crypto billionaire Bankman-Fried survived on bread, water and sometimes peanut butter when he was in the MDC Brooklyn, his attorney said, because the detention center continued to serve him a “flesh diet” despite requests for vegan dishes.

Ja Rule stayed at the MDC Brooklyn for a brief time before being released after serving most of his two-year sentence for illegal gun possession. Most of his prison time was spent in a state prison in New York. 

Sharpton served a 90-day sentence in 2001 and went on a hunger strike for protesting the U.S. Navy bombing of the island of Vieques, in Puerto Rico.

Combs was taken into custody on Monday and according to an indictment unsealed Tuesday he was charged with sex trafficking, racketeering conspiracy and transportation to engage in prostitution. 

His attorney Marc Agnifilo told CBS News, “It’s impossible to prepare for a trial from where he is,” after a first federal judge denied Combs bail on Tuesday.

U.S. Magistrate Judge Robyn Tarnofsky agreed with prosecutors who argued the hip-hop mogul, who is accused of using his business empire as a criminal enterprise to conceal his alleged abuse of women, is a flight risk and poses an ongoing threat to the safety of the community. 

Agnifilo said the part of the detention center where Combs is being held is “a very difficult place to be.” 

contributed to this report.



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