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David Sedaris on why you should dress like a corpse

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I went to a play the other night and thought, wait, is this a Broadway theater or a Home Depot? An honest mistake, as my fellow audience members were dressed to harvest crops and drain septic tanks.

Was there a sign on the door demanding that people at least wear shirts, or was it just a coincidence that no one was bare-chested? I mean, cargo shorts and flip-flops, to the theater!

I know we’re living in a different age: “Who are you to tell me how to dress for a night out?” But if this wasn’t a special occasion, what was? Making an effort shows respect to the performers, and to your fellow audience members.

I attended a murder trial in Arizona once where the mother of the accused took the stand in cut-off shorts and a “Ghostbusters” T-shirt. And again, you really couldn’t find anything better in your closet?

In the past if I was going somewhere special, I’d put on a tie, but my ideas of evening wear have changed over the years.

The 2023 PEN America Literary Awards - Red Carpet
David Sedaris making his fashion statement at the 2023 PEN America Literary Awards, March 2, 2023 in New York City. 

Nina Westervelt/Variety via Getty Images


“Those look … ahem … comfortable,” people tell me, wincing at the culottes I pair with knee socks in cold weather. And I’m like, “You do know that you can just say nothing, right?” When did that become any kind of a compliment?

The mark of an adult used to be that you could be mildly uncomfortable for vast stretches of time. You’d put on a suit and a real pair of shoes and somehow manage to work for eight hours. Then, maybe, you’d change into something even more restricting and go out to dinner.

Now we need to be comfortable all the time, and for every occasion.

Except, oddly, when we’re dead!

Go to an open-casket funeral and the corpse is pretty much always the best-dressed person in the room. Often it’ll be the first time the person has ever worn a suit, or the first time in ages. Beautiful dresses, hair done just so.

If I ran a Broadway theater, that’s what I would demand of the audience: Dress like you’re about to be buried, or reduced to ashes in a kiln.

And, of course, turn off your phones.

       
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Story produced by Amy Wall. Editor: Emanuele Secci.

     
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Trump to hold second rally at site of attempted assassination

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Trump to hold second rally at site of attempted assassination – CBS News


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Former President Donald Trump is returning to Butler, Pennsylvania, today to hold a rally. Twelve weeks ago, a would-be assassin opened fire on him there. Meanwhile, Vice President Kamala Harris is set to visit North Carolina to review federal relief efforts after Hurricane Helene.

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Eye Opener: At least 70 people killed in gang attack in Haiti, United Nations says

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Eye Opener: At least 70 people killed in gang attack in Haiti, United Nations says – CBS News


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The United Nations said at least 70 people have been killed in a gang attack in Haiti. Meanwhile, a 21-year-old Yazidi woman was rescued from Gaza after a decade. All that and all that matters in today’s Eye Opener.

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Floods, landslides struck parts of Bosnia as residents slept, leaving at least 16 dead and several missing

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A severe rainstorm struck Bosnia overnight Friday, killing at least 16 people in floods and landslides in several towns and villages in central and southern parts of the country, with surging waters rushing into people’s homes as they were sleeping.

Rescue services in the south said several people were missing and called on volunteers and the army to assist as roads were closed and houses left without electricity.

Josip Kalem, a resident of Fojnica, one of the towns hit by the floods, said his dog’s barking woke him up at around 4 a.m. When he came out on the terrace, he saw the water rising rapidly.

“I came down, woke up my wife, and we looked around, we could not get out of the house. We saw more and more water coming in,” he said. “All of a sudden, the water was flooding the garage, basement, my car — everything. The water swept it all away, including my dog. Flood took it downstream.”

Andja Milesic, another resident of Fojnica, also said she was caught by surprise in the middle of the night.

“When I woke up, my bedroom floor was already soaked. I walked into the hallway — water was everywhere — the living room, everywhere,” she said. “It was horrible.”

APTOPIX Bosnia Flooding
A car is submerged in flood waters outside an apartment building in the village of Kiseljak, northern Bosnia, Friday, Oct. 4, 2024.

Armin Durgut / AP


Darko Juka, a spokesman for the local administration, said at least 14 people had died in and around the southern town of Jablanica. Officials later said two more bodies have been found.

“Those are the ones who have been discovered by rescuers,” he said. “We still don’t know the final death toll.”

“I don’t remember such a crisis since the war,” Juka said referring to the 1992-95 war in Bosnia that left the country in ruins. “The scale of this chaotic situation is harrowing.”

Defense Minister Zukan Helez told N1 regional television that troops have been engaged to help and that the casualties were reported.

Helez said that “hour after hour we are receiving news about new victims. … Our first priority is to save the people who are alive and buried in houses where the landslides are.”

A pregnant woman lost her baby after she was rescued from the floods and transferred to a hospital in the regional center of Mostar. Authorities said doctors were fighting for her life as well. Separately, a child was successfully rescued and hospitalized, local officials said.

Rescue services in the towns of Jablanica and Kiseljak said the power was off overnight and mobile phones lost their signal.

The Jablanica fire station said that the town was completely inaccessible because roads and trainlines were closed.

“The police informed us that the railroad is also blocked,” the state rescue service said in a statement. “You can’t get in or out of Jablanica at the moment. Landline phones are working, but mobile phones have no signal.”

It urged people not to venture out on the flooded streets.

Human-caused climate change increases the intensity of rainfall because warm air holds more moisture. This summer, the Balkans were also hit by long-lasting record temperatures, causing a drought. Scientists said the dried-out land has hampered the absorption of floodwaters.

Bosnia Flooding
Apartment buildings are reflected at a flooded soccer field after a heavy rain in the village of Kiseljak, northern Bosnia, Friday, Oct. 4, 2024.

Armin Durgut / AP


Drone footage broadcast on Bosnian media showed villages and towns completely submerged under water, while videos on social networks showed dramatic scenes of muddy torrents and damaged roads.

One of the busiest roads linking Sarajevo with the Adriatic coast via Jablanica was swept into a river, together with a railway line in a huge landslide, according to photos.

“Many people are endangered because of big waters and landslides. There is information about victims and many injured and missing persons,” said the civic protection service.

Authorities urged people to stay on the upper floors of their homes. Reports said surging waters swept away domestic animals and cars as the water swiftly filled up lower floors of buildings.

The heavy rains and strong winds were also reported in neighboring Croatia, where several roads were closed and the capital of Zagreb prepared for the swollen Sava River to burst its banks.

Heavy winds have hampered traffic along the southern coast of the Adriatic Sea, and flash floods caused by heavy rain threatened several towns and villages in Croatia.

Floods caused by torrential rains were also reported in Montenegro, south of Bosnia, where some villages were cut off and roads and homes flooded.

In 2014, floodwaters triggered more than 3,000 landslides across the Balkans, laying waste to entire towns and villages and disturbing land mines leftover from the region’s 1990s war, along with warning signs that marked the unexploded weapons.



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