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Your friend loves a candidate you hate. Can your relationship survive?
With Election Day around the corner, political divides grow deeper and relationships with certain friends and family members may feel increasingly strained. It leaves some wondering whether to sever ties over fundamental differences in political views.
While it’s been debated for a few elections cycles, experts say the question weighs even more heavily this year.
Dr. Judy Ho, a clinical and forensic neuropsychologist and author of “The New Rules of Attachment,” has seen this dilemma ramp up recently in both her personal and professional life.
“If you encounter enough people, there’s going to be somebody who’s not the same as your views, and some people just get so much more fired up about it, and then it becomes extremely personal really quickly,” she told CBS News.
The issue has even made celeb-studded headlines, with social media users dissecting the friendship between Taylor Swift, who made waves by endorsing Kamala Harris, and Brittany Mahomes, who Donald Trump praised last month for “defending” him.
Can you remain friends with people who hold political views antithetical to your own? Experts say there are a few things to consider when it comes to navigating political divides among loved ones.
Why political differences cause problems
“Political divides are really problematic for relationships because they’re often deeply intertwined with people’s identities and core values,” Ho said. “When the beliefs are challenged, then it feels like a much more personal attack, and it triggers a defensive reaction.”
She said some research shows that when people encounter statements that contradict their deeply held beliefs, their brains react similarly to facing a physical threat.
“It puts them into a fight or flight stance, and that makes conversation impossible, because when you’re in fight or flight, you’re not going to have any kind of productive conversation,” she said.
That’s why we tend to see disagreements that lead to unfriending someone occur more often around social views, and less around something like economic policy, said Dr. Laura Vogel, psychologist and director of mental health services at Momentous Institute.
“Particularly around those social views, that’s where it begins to connect to my identity as a person, who I am, what my faith is, those sorts of things,” she said.
How to decide if your friendship has a future
So, how do you know when it’s time to take a step back — or completely away — from a friend or family member over these disagreements?
First, assess the relationship, experts advise.
Think about how much value this person adds to your life, Ho suggests, and also consider the logistics of whether if you’re going to see this person all the time at work or if they’re part of your family.
“Is it going to be really that feasible to just completely cut them off?” Ho said. “If a person is of value to you in some way, is important to you, then it’s important to try to work through the conflict instead of just completely shutting it out or completely never speaking to them about anything related to their beliefs.”
Vogel also suggests slowing down and thinking, “If I unfriend them, what impact will this have on me?”
“When we are flooded with emotion, whether that’s shock or anger or shame, none of us make really good, thoughtful decisions,” she said. “Let that emotion settle and really reflect … and then make a decision. And I can’t tell anybody what that is, everyone’s going to have a different range of what is best for you.”
If you want to move forward with this person in your life, the next step may include having a conversation with them to better understand their views or to set certain boundaries.
“If this is an important relationship, that’s where we want to really slow down and resist that temptation to make a snap decision, an impulsive decision, and then consider whether a conversation is important and necessary — a live conversation, not a Facebook conversation,” Vogel said.
Your decision doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, “remain close friends” or “completely cut them off,” experts say. Instead, you may decide to mentally or privately take a step back from someone but remain on amicable terms.
“If it’s a person who you share friends with, you can still see each other at parties and big get-togethers, but do you need to be calling them? No, you don’t,” Ho said. “It doesn’t have to be this huge black-and-white approach, because I don’t think that that’s always feasible.”
Social media versus real life
The threshold for “unfriending” someone in real life compared to on social media is typically different, too.
“If you’re feeling a lot of stress and anxiety every time you get on social media, and it’s a handful of people that are creating that and you don’t really have a relationship with them, I think it’s good for us to have boundaries,” Vogel said.
Ho added that “muting” is a great option if you don’t want to see someone’s posts without outright “unfriending” or “unfollowing” them, which they may see.
“I definitely think the bar is lower for online consumption, because we know that just passive consumption of things can really affect your mindset,” Ho said.
On the other hand, real-life friends who you have more meaningful relationships with may be well worth the extra effort it takes to navigate differences.
“Our good friends can challenge us,” Vogel said. “There’s that argument of, ‘You’re in this echo chamber and you’re not talking to people who have different perspectives than you.’ I think good friends who care about us can come to the conversations with curiosity and be able to listen to your perspective, and then you’re curious about how they’ve come to their perspective. But that’s a much more civil conversation, typically, with a good friend where you value each other versus somebody that you really don’t interact with anymore.”
Mark Harmon, widely known for playing Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs on the hit CBS drama “NCIS,” is stepping behind the camera as the executive producer and narrator of a new spin-off prequel, “NCIS: Origins.”
After nearly two decades in the role, Harmon is now helping bring to life the early years of Gibbs, with actor Austin Stowell portraying a young version of the iconic character.
“You come in and audition here for years and years, and all of a sudden, you’re presented with a badge with your name on it,” Stowell said about now working on the Paramount lot.
The show’s set features scenes at Camp Pendleton, including locations like Daley’s Tavern, a bar just off-base. For Stowell, it is a role of a lifetime.
“I felt very confident in what I could bring to the character, and then the second you walk in the room, that all goes out the window,” Stowell said.
Casting the role of young Gibbs in “NCIS: Origins” was a significant decision for the team, as it meant finding someone to take on the character that Harmon made iconic. The prequel, set in 1991, explores Gibbs’ early days as a rookie agent.
Harmon saw the project as an opportunity to dive deeper into the character’s backstory, introducing a Giibbs that has never been seen before in the original series.
“This is a chance to really kind of dig into it,” said Harmon
The role also brings a more personal and emotional storyline for Gibbs, one that explores his grief after the loss of his wife and child.
“He’s in rough shape,” Harmon said.
Stowell has drawn on his personal experiences to portray Gibbs’ pain. His father died by suicide four years ago.
“Loss is something we all deal with and for Gibbs, this is something that has cracked him to his core, said Stowell.
Harmon has been a steady presence on set, offering guidance to Stowell and the rest of the cast.
“From day one, Mark has been available,” Stowell said. “He’s so good at allowing the people who are on this show to feel like they are supported.”
Harmon made it clear that this new chapter of “NCIS” belongs to the younger cast.
“I’m there to help and to talk to them or to tell them what I remember from being in this for a while. But this is their thing,” Harmon said.
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After a four-year period in which interest rates hit record lows and then rose to decades-highs, the Federal Reserve started cutting interest rates again in September. A half a percentage point cut, sparked by cooling inflation numbers, was issued on September 18. And with unemployment and inflation declining in September, too, additional cuts of 25 basis points each look likely for the next two Fed meetings in November and December.
While this is welcome news for borrowers, it will detract from the big returns savers have been accustomed to in recent years. This is particularly true for those who have opened or are considering opening a certificate of deposit (CD). That said, CD interest rates haven’t declined so dramatically as to render these unique savings vehicles unworthy. Savers can still earn hundreds and potentially thousands of dollars with the right CD account – even now.
But there are some smart CD moves savers should make now, before the next rate cut, to earn that big return. Below, we’ll break down three of them.
Start by seeing how much more you could be earning on your money with a top CD here.
3 smart CD moves to make before the next rate cut
While CDs are still a safe and predictable way to earn a substantial return on your money, this high rate cycle could soon be coming to a close. Savers who have yet to take advantage, then, or those considering another account, should make the following moves now — before the Fed takes additional action:
Determine your budget
The more you deposit into a CD the more you’ll earn. That simple calculation, however, doesn’t account for any early withdrawal penalties you’ll need to pay if you withdraw your money prematurely. These penalties range from lender to lender but they can easily negate any earnings you’ve accumulated to that point. So, first, determine your budget. Figure out precisely how much you can afford to deposit and for how long you can lock it away. Once you have this amount and length of time (CD term), determined, you’ll be ready to take next steps.
Get started with a CD online now.
Shop around for lenders
Don’t just head to your local bank branch to open a CD. Often, the best CD rates and terms are found with online banks versus those with physical locations. But even all online lenders are not the same as some will require higher minimum deposits or other requirements to earn a high rate. So shop around for lenders to find one offering the best rates for the amount of money you’re comfortable depositing. And be sure to understand the early withdrawal penalties and any other fees or maintenance costs that could affect your returns before getting started.
Open a long-term CD
A long-term CD will mature anywhere between 18 months and 10 years. Once you’ve determined how much money you can comfortably afford to deposit, consider one of these accounts instead of a short-term one now. Currently, short-term CDs have slightly higher rates than long-term ones do. But those accounts will mature in just a few months, at which point rates will likely be lower. But long-term CDs have competitive rates now (in the 4% to 5% range), allowing savers to earn big returns for years to come, even if the larger rate climate cools during that time frame. And because of the locked rate nature of these accounts, you’ll be able to determine with precision your exact earnings upon account maturity.
The bottom line
Rate-cutting action on behalf of the Federal Reserve should spur savers who haven’t take advantage of the current high rate climate (or those who want to continue to) to make a move now – and they should do so with a CD. Specifically, savers should determine their budget in order to deposit as much as they can comfortably afford. But they should also shop for lenders to find one offering the highest rates, specifically for long-term CDs, which can help savers weather what appears to be a cooling rate climate.
Have more questions? Learn more about your current CD options here.
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