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Vietnam War veteran comes out as gay in his obituary, reveals he will be buried next to “the love of my life”
An Army veteran, firefighter and New York radio station founder says he’ll “forever Rest in Peace” after revealing a lifelong “secret.” In a message included in Col. Edward Thomas Ryan’s obituary, he said, “I was Gay all my life.”
The obituary states that Ryan, who lived in Albany, New York, was a retired fireman, the owner and founder of radio station WHRL-FM, and a highly decorated veteran of the U.S. military. Along with receiving the National Defense Service Medal, the obituary says that he received a Defense of Liberty Medal for his assistance in the aftermath of the 9/11 attack, a Conspicuous Service Medal for “keeping with the highest traditions of the Military Service,” and a Commanders Citation for “Service Above and Beyond the Call.”
Ryan, who had a business degree, was also a member of the Vietnam Veterans of America and served on the Vietnam Veterans/Agent Orange Committee for the American Legion.
According to the Albany Times Union, Ryan was 85 when he died on June 1. His family told the Times Union that he served in Vietnam while he was in the Army, but they weren’t sure of his years or ranks.
At the bottom of his service and funeral details, Ryan provided his own message, saying, “I must tell you one more thing.”
“I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life.”
He also revealed that he had been in a long-term “loving and caring relationship” with another man named Paul Cavagnaro. That relationship ended in a heartbreaking situation – but after death, Ryan said they will be reunited.
“He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together,” Ryan wrote. “Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I’ll be buried next to Paul.”
After years of keeping his sexual identity hidden, Ryan apologized.
“I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and CO-Workers,” he wrote. “Seeing how people like me were created, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
While Ryan didn’t publicly come out before his death, his niece Linda Sargent told the Times Union that many in the family knew, but “it just wasn’t something we talked about.”
“I knew probably 40 years. I knew [Cavagnaro] was his partner,” Cathy Stammel told the Times Union. “They were a loving couple. I admired that,” they said. “But I promised him I wouldn’t say anything, and I kept that promise. It was up to him to talk about it when he was ready.”
Ryan’s obituary has received wide support online, with people commenting on his digitized obituary, saying, “you were loved.”
“As a brother in arms, I salute you. As a brother in spirit, I embrace you. As a brother of the Holy Spirit, I kneel and pray for your eternal solace,” one person commented. “To have found true love is priceless.”
Another commented an apology, saying they are “sorry that we as a country failed to make him feel safe enough to live his life fully and publicly.”
“May he rest in peace and Pride with Paul, and may his memory be a comfort to his family and a lesson to us all,” they said.
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California Gov. Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill Saturday that would have required new cars to beep at drivers if they exceed the speed limit in an effort to reduce traffic deaths.
California would have become the first to require such systems for all new cars, trucks and buses sold in the state starting in 2030. The bill would have mandated that vehicles beep at drivers when they exceed the speed limit by at least 10 mph.
The European Union has passed similar legislation to encourage drivers to slow down. California’s proposal would have provided exceptions for emergency vehicles, motorcycles and motorized scooters.
In explaining his veto, Newsom said federal law already dictates vehicle safety standards and adding California-specific requirements would create a patchwork of regulations.
The National Highway Traffic Safety “is also actively evaluating intelligent speed assistance systems, and imposing state-level mandates at this time risks disrupting these ongoing federal assessments,” the Democratic governor said.
Opponents, including automotive groups and the state Chamber of Commerce, said such regulations should be decided by the federal government, which earlier this year established new requirements for automatic emergency braking to curb traffic deaths. Republican lawmakers also said the proposal could make cars more expensive and distract drivers.
The legislation would have likely impacted all new car sales in the U.S., since the California market is so large that car manufacturers would likely just make all of their vehicles comply.
California often throws that weight around to influence national and even international policy. The state has set its own emission standards for cars for decades, rules that more than a dozen other states have also adopted. And when California announced it would eventually ban the sale of new gas-powered cars, major automakers soon followed with their own announcement to phase out fossil-fuel vehicles.
Democratic state Sen. Scott Wiener, who sponsored the bill, called the veto disappointing and a setback for street safety.
“California should have led on this crisis as Wisconsin did in passing the first seatbelt mandate in 1961,” Wiener said in a statement. “Instead, this veto resigns Californians to a completely unnecessary risk of fatality.”
The speeding alert technology, known as intelligent speed assistance, uses GPS to compare a vehicle’s pace with a dataset of posted limits. If the car is at least 10 mph over, the system emits a single, brief, visual and audio alert.
The proposal would have required the state to maintain a list of posted speed limits, and it’s likely that those would not include local roads or recent changes in speed limits, resulting in conflicts.
The technology has been used in the U.S. and Europe for years. Starting in July, the European Union will require all new cars to have the technology, although drivers would be able to turn it off. At least 18 manufacturers including Ford, BMW, Mercedes-Benz and Nissan, have already offered some form of speed limiters on some models sold in America, according to the National Transportation Safety Board.
The National Highway and Traffic Safety Administration estimates that 10% of all car crashes reported to police in 2021 were related to speeding. This was especially a problem in California, where 35% of traffic fatalities were speeding-related — the second highest in the country, according to a legislative analysis of the proposal.
Last year the NTSB recommended federal regulators require all new cars to alert drivers when they speed. Their recommendation came after a crash in January 2022, when a man with a history of speeding violations ran a red light at more than 100 mph and struck a minivan, killing himself and eight other people.
