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Vietnam War veteran comes out as gay in his obituary, reveals he will be buried next to “the love of my life”
An Army veteran, firefighter and New York radio station founder says he’ll “forever Rest in Peace” after revealing a lifelong “secret.” In a message included in Col. Edward Thomas Ryan’s obituary, he said, “I was Gay all my life.”
The obituary states that Ryan, who lived in Albany, New York, was a retired fireman, the owner and founder of radio station WHRL-FM, and a highly decorated veteran of the U.S. military. Along with receiving the National Defense Service Medal, the obituary says that he received a Defense of Liberty Medal for his assistance in the aftermath of the 9/11 attack, a Conspicuous Service Medal for “keeping with the highest traditions of the Military Service,” and a Commanders Citation for “Service Above and Beyond the Call.”
Ryan, who had a business degree, was also a member of the Vietnam Veterans of America and served on the Vietnam Veterans/Agent Orange Committee for the American Legion.
According to the Albany Times Union, Ryan was 85 when he died on June 1. His family told the Times Union that he served in Vietnam while he was in the Army, but they weren’t sure of his years or ranks.
At the bottom of his service and funeral details, Ryan provided his own message, saying, “I must tell you one more thing.”
“I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life.”
He also revealed that he had been in a long-term “loving and caring relationship” with another man named Paul Cavagnaro. That relationship ended in a heartbreaking situation – but after death, Ryan said they will be reunited.
“He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together,” Ryan wrote. “Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I’ll be buried next to Paul.”
After years of keeping his sexual identity hidden, Ryan apologized.
“I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and CO-Workers,” he wrote. “Seeing how people like me were created, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
While Ryan didn’t publicly come out before his death, his niece Linda Sargent told the Times Union that many in the family knew, but “it just wasn’t something we talked about.”
“I knew probably 40 years. I knew [Cavagnaro] was his partner,” Cathy Stammel told the Times Union. “They were a loving couple. I admired that,” they said. “But I promised him I wouldn’t say anything, and I kept that promise. It was up to him to talk about it when he was ready.”
Ryan’s obituary has received wide support online, with people commenting on his digitized obituary, saying, “you were loved.”
“As a brother in arms, I salute you. As a brother in spirit, I embrace you. As a brother of the Holy Spirit, I kneel and pray for your eternal solace,” one person commented. “To have found true love is priceless.”
Another commented an apology, saying they are “sorry that we as a country failed to make him feel safe enough to live his life fully and publicly.”
“May he rest in peace and Pride with Paul, and may his memory be a comfort to his family and a lesson to us all,” they said.
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Wisconsin school shooter was in contact with California man plotting his own attack, court documents say
The shooter who killed a student and teacher at a religious school in Wisconsin brought two guns to the school and was in contact with a man in California whom authorities say was planning to attack a government building, according to authorities and court documents that became public Wednesday.
Police were still investigating why the 15-year-old student at Abundant Life Christian School in Madison shot and killed a fellow student and teacher on Monday before shooting herself, Madison Police Chief Shon Barnes told the Associated Press Wednesday. Two other students who were shot remained in critical condition on Wednesday.
A Southern California judge issued a restraining order Tuesday under California’s gun red flag law against a 20-year-old Carlsbad man. The order requires the man to turn his guns and ammunition into police within 48 hours unless an officer asks for them sooner because he poses an immediate danger to himself and others.
Carlsbad is located just north of San Diego.
According to the order, the man told FBI agents that he had been messaging Natalie Rupnow, the Wisconsin shooter, about attacking a government building with a gun and explosives. The order doesn’t say what building he had targeted or when he planned to launch his attack. It also doesn’t detail his interactions with Rupnow except to state that the man was plotting a mass shooting with her.
CBS’ San Diego affiliate KFMB-TV reported that law enforcement searched the man’s home Tuesday night after the order was signed by the judge.
Police, with the assistance of the FBI, were scouring online records and other resources and speaking with the shooter’s parents and classmates in an attempt to determine a motive for the shooting, Barnes told the AP.
Police don’t know if anyone was targeted in the attack or if the attack had been planned in advance, the chief said. Police said the shooting occurred in a classroom where a study hall was taking place involving students from several grades.
“I do not know if if she planned it that day or if she planned it a week prior,” Barnes said. “To me, bringing a gun to school to hurt people is planning. And so we don’t know what the premeditation is.”
On a Madison city website providing details about the shooting, police disclosed Wednesday that two guns were found at the school, but only one was used in the shooting. A law enforcement source previously told CBS News the weapon used appears to have been a 9 mm pistol.
Barnes told the AP that he did not know how the suspected shooter obtained the guns and he declined to say who purchased them, citing the ongoing investigation.
No decisions have been made about whether Rupnow’s parents might be charged in relation to the shooting, but they have been cooperating, Barnes told the AP.
Abundant Life is a nondenominational Christian school that offers prekindergarten classes through high school. About 420 students attend the institution.
The Dan County Medical Examiner’s Office identified the two people killed Wednesday as 42-year-old Erin West and 14-year-old Rubi Vergara.
An online obituary on a local funeral site stated Vergara was a freshman who leaves behind her parents, one brother, and a large extended family. It described her as “an avid reader” who “loved art, singing and playing keyboard in the family worship band.”
West’s exact position with the school was unclear.
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