For Katherine Schiefer, whose son Owen was born five months ago, motherhood the second time around has felt drastically different.

The 35-year-old lawyer was recently diagnosed with postpartum depression after her husband John encouraged her to get help for her suicidal thoughts.

“I had the thought in the middle of the night, like, I don’t want to be here. And when I say not be here, I mean on this earth,” said Schiefer, who still gets emotional recalling the symptoms. “I know my kids need me and I love them and I want to be here for them, so to have thoughts like that were alarming.”

Among new mothers in the U.S., one in eight suffer from postpartum depression, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Three-quarters of them go undiagnosed or untreated.

“I think it’s destigmatizing that we don’t just have to have one feeling of joy, but that becoming a parent can also have a great deal of grief and loss for a life that you used to have,” said Dr. Sarah Oreck, a reproductive psychiatrist.

Oreck says most insurance policies don’t come close to meeting the demand for mothers in need of mental help.

“Reimbursement for mental healthcare in this country is abysmal to the point where there’s mostly people working out of network,” Oreck said.

Just ask new mom and former social worker Dalindra Buys. 

“There’s so many moms that could utilize so many different services, but they can’t because they can’t afford it,” Buys said.

After Buys was diagnosed with postpartum depression, she wanted to visit Fourth Tri Sanctuary outside Detroit — where doulas take care of babies so moms can shower or nap — but she couldn’t afford it. The founders rely on donations to provide care for some women, like Buys, for free.  

Schiefer comes to Fourth Tri with her baby, too, but she pays out of pocket, and it’s pricey.

There are also yoga classes, lactation consultants and mental health support groups, bringing a new dimension to postpartum care.

It is much needed relief for Buys. She and her husband Eric turned to in vitro fertilization after struggling with infertility. Their son, Cassius, was born premature at 26 weeks, weighing just two-and-a-half pounds.  

“The guilt was the hardest thing and still is the hardest thing,” Buys said.

“Other moms have come up to me and whispered to me, it does get better,” Schiefer said.

With every conversation, those whispers grow louder, silencing the stigma and shame around postpartum depression. 

Nikki Battiste

Nikki Battiste is a CBS News national correspondent based in New York. She is an Emmy and Peabody-award winning journalist, and her reporting appears across all CBS News broadcasts and platforms.